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HomeSEXUAL ADVICELet's Talk About... Kiss!

Let’s Talk About… Kiss!

(Last Updated On: January 21, 2022)

Last Updated on January 21, 2022 by Admin

Kissing. Smooching. Making out. Pecks. Smackeroo. Canoodling. Necking. Snogging. Call it what you want to call it, everyone loves a good kiss. Locking lips is a beautiful way to say hello, goodbye, or ‘I love/like you.’ Kissing allows us to connect, to feel out chemistry, and to build up sexual energy. Not to mention kissing has incredible health benefits like boosting our immune systems, giving us boosts of happy hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, and decreasing stress by lowering cortisol levels. Still, kissing can be awkward and weird, especially if you’re new to it, or if it’s with a new person. While a lot of kissing is intuitive, there are definitely ways you can increase your smooching literacy and become a better kisser. No matter where you are on your kissing journey, we’ve got some tips for you so you can learn how to kiss like a pro.

Create Your Own Style

Everyone has their own kissing style. It might change and evolve depending on what your mood is, who you’re kissing, and even where you’re at in your menstrual cycle! For example, if you’re ovulating, you might be more inclined to get a little frisky with some lip biting or extra tongue. Your style might be sweet and soft or forward and direct, or somewhere in between. Make it your own!

Take it Slow and Kiss Like a Pro

There’s no need to rush. Taking it slow allows you to relax with each other, to ease into the moment, and to warm up at your own pace. You can take it slow by starting with gentle pecks and letting your lips almost just rest on each other before starting to open your mouth or use your tongue. Since we mentioned tongue….what do you do with it? Some people like more tongue than others, so start slow (of course). That means just using the tip of your tongue to flick the end of theirs. It can be incredibly jolting for someone to just stick their tongue down your throat without any warning. A couple of other fun techniques you can integrate into your kissing practice is lip nibbling and sucking. Lip nibbling is gently (or not so gently) biting your kissing partner’s lips. Sucking is gently sucking their lips, this tends to work better with their bottom lip.

It’s Not Just About The Mouth

Kissing isn’t just about what’s going on with your mouths. There are so many other elements, like what’s going on with the rest of your body. Like your eyes. A little eye contact is nice, or more if you have that comfort level with your partner, but too much can definitely be weird, especially if it’s not reciprocated.  Hands are another huge part of kissing. Where are they? You may hold their face, the back of their head, gently pull their hair, grab their butt, or let your hands wander elsewhere (just be sure it’s consensual)!

Inject That Extra Oomph

One of the things that take a kiss from a good kiss to a great kiss is that intangible extra juice. It’s difficult to put words around, but when it happens you just know, and so does the other person. That extra oomph comes from being present in your body and with the person, you’re kissing, and telling them with your energy ‘I’m really enjoying this moment, so I’m going to almost melt into you.’ That extra oomph sometimes comes from chemistry and can’t happen with everyone, but it sure is special when it does. 

It’s ok To Be Nervous

Connecting through kissing is exciting, and can also be totally nerve-wracking! Especially if it’s with someone that you’re really into. Remember that it’s ok and normal to be nervous, your kissing partner is most likely feeling the same way. A great way to break up the nerves is by being upfront and honest about it. Simply just saying “I’m kind of nervous” with a sweet smile is a great way to diffuse any nerves you’re both feeling, and share a funny, human moment. 

Read The Room

It takes two to tango. If you have a kiss with someone that just doesn’t feel great no matter how many stops you pull out, it might not be you. Or them. It could just be your dynamic, and the sexual chemistry (or lack thereof) there is between you.  That being said, if you have an incredible connection with someone or see the potential for a relationship to grow, you can work on your kissing skills together. Everyone talks about the magical first kiss (thanks to princess movies), but sometimes first kisses can be awkward and unsure. It can take time to get used to each other’s kissing styles and have them mesh together to have harmonious make-out seshes. If it’s worth putting in the effort, you’ll know. If you feel like your love interest could use some help in the kissing department, try using these tips:

  • Lead by Example: Show them how you want to be kissed. If they use too much tongue, try keeping your mouth closed more. If you like to be kissed on the ears, kiss them on the ears. If you like slow soft pecks, give them that. They’ll (hopefully) get the hint.
  • Use Your Words: No one likes to be called a bad kisser, but there are gentle ways to tell your sweetie how you want to be kissed, like saying ‘I love when you give me long, slow, gentle kisses.’ or ‘I love a little eye contact while we’re kissing.’
  • Drop Subtle Hints: If there’s a hot kissing scene in a movie you’re watching or a story that your friend told you, tell your cutie and let them know what about that story you liked. They’ll hopefully feel inspired to try those tips out for themselves.

You now have what it takes to be a kissing pro. Go and get em, tiger! 

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