Last Updated on April 23, 2022 by Admin
When it comes to exploring your sex life, you may have tried kinky activities, anal sex, and for the adventurous couple – travel sex. Sometimes exploring your sex life has less to do with fancy gadgets and gizmos (although those are plenty fun), and more to do with unlocking different parts of yourself, so that you can sink deeper into your experience.
That’s where tantra comes in. This may be a new term for you, or you may have heard this buzzword floating around the new age scene in Yoga classes and the like. Tantra is definitely not new though. It can, however, allow you to experience pleasure on a deeper level and even heal different parts of yourself.
What is tantra and how do you practice it? Let’s find out.
Ancient eastern practice
Although people typically associate tantra directly with sexual pleasure, that’s not all that it is. Tantra is a philosophy dating back to sixth-century India. The word Tantra means ‘to weave’ or ‘compose’. Tantra refers to an instructional text often written as a dialogue between a god and goddess – not to be heteronormative, these practices can be used no matter what your sexuality is.
Tantric texts were revolutionary because they taught that everything is sacred, and touched on important parts of humanity that other schools of thought deemed impure or profane – like sex and sexuality. They also discussed practices around Yoga, meditation, and just a general way of living with more mindfulness.
One of the reasons Tantra is generally associated with sexual intercourse is that it also taught the importance of divine feminine power, which veered from the common idea that womanhood was passive and docile. Tantra is all about deep connection and energetic alchemy, or the expansion of energy within yourself and partner’s body.
Much of the texts talk about the role of deeper connection, which is often expressed through sexual intercourse. While Tantra isn’t all about sexual connection, it’s certainly an exciting part of it, and most likely the reason you’re reading this.
More pleasure: Practice Tantric Sex
So how do you incorporate tantra into your own sexual experience? The first step is to take the pressure off yourselves and look at tantra from a zoomed-out perspective. While it may seem esoteric and ‘woo-woo’, tantra is something that can be accessible for anyone.
Tantric sexual practice is less about doing things a specific way, and more about deep connection and energetic alchemy. It’s a tool that allows you to deepen your relationship with your partner (if you have one), and yourself. Tantra encourages you to slow down, relax your entire body, practice breathing techniques and mindfulness, and just be in the present moment.
Here are some practical ways how to incorporate tantric practices into your sex life:
Create the space for tantra session
Making a relaxing, intentional space allows you to sink into the moment that much more. Tidy up your bedroom, light the candles, do what you can to make your sexual space feel like a sanctuary. Play some relaxing music, fulfill the room with sexual energy. Prepare extra items that may help you relax even more – a massage oil and candles, a feather for a gentle touch, and self exploration. Intimate experience will improve the sexual experience for sure.
Tantric philosophy is about worship and devotion. How can you bring worship into your sex life? By really paying attention – be fully present and listen to what your partner wants, by enthusiastically giving them massages, oral sex, or whatever feels like an act of devotion for you.
Or you can use our tip: While your partner sits on a chair maintain eye contact and go down on your knees. The mind-body connection is the first and the most important step, so this will help you for sure. Breathe deeply and then slowly come closer between your partner’s legs. Use massage oil and start massaging his or her inner thighs. Watch your partner’s reactions. Inhale deeply and inhale while you come closer to your partner’s lap. Spend time massaging his or her legs and stomach before you start with oral sex. Do not hurry – prolong sex as much as possible to increase erotic energy. This will take you both to multiple orgasms.
Enjoy Tantric experience
Pleasure takes time to build. Tantra asks you to slow down, take the focus away from achieving orgasm, and notice how pleasure and arousal build in each moment. The more you slow down and tune into it, the more you can feel the bodily sensations during penetrative sex that comes later.
Tune into Your Breathing techniques
A deep breath is an incredible tool for slowing down, waking up parts of your body that feel dormant, and for connecting with your partner. You can try these breathwork exercises before sex, with or without your partner.
Connect and Communicate
Since practicing tantra is all about spiritual awakening and connection, how can you connect deeper with your partner? Eye contact is a great start, as well as using your words, and other verbal cues (like authentic moaning). Try changing sex position and tell your partner what you like before, during, and after sex so that there aren’t unspoken expectations between you.
The level of connection that tantra can bring also requires vulnerability and a willingness to be open with your partner. Any position can be tantric, but one that increases vulnerability is the lotus, called ‘Yab Yum’ in tantric text. This is where both partners sit up facing each other, with one partner sitting on the other’s lap, their legs typically wrapped around each other. Kink is another sexual tool that requires vulnerability and can be used while practicing tantric sex.
While most of these tips seem like they’re for having sex with a partner, and of them can be used solo as well. If tantra is new to you, it can be great to practice with yourself before bringing a partner on board.
Since Yoga is rooted in tantra, many of their practices overlap. For more inspiration, you can check out these yogic sex secrets. Tantra doesn’t have to be elusive, at the end of the day, it’s just a tool to help you explore deeper levels of intimacy and connection.